Goodbye Dean Winchester
by EmoRaven5017
Summary: Dean's world is torn apart after his brothers death 1 year ago. That fateful day still haunts Dean to this day, and now he is hurting himself. Can his friends save him in time or will it be too late?
1. I'm Too Far Gone

Goodbye Dean Winchester

Chapter One: I'm Too Far Gone

Some know him as "The Brave and The Bold", others as "The Strong and Grounded one". But he never thought of himself like that, Dean knew deep down he was worthless. No one needed him and as much as it pained him to say it, it was true. Sammy was dead and he wasn't coming back. He always took care of his little brother, always ever since they were kids since their father was always away on "business". Dean knew what his father was really doing out for almost a month or 2 only coming home maybe once in the month to get more supplies then taking off again. Sammy meant so much to Dean but he knew he couldn't be strong enough for much longer, ever since that day. The day Lucifer rose and when Sam said yes to him, everything had changed. Dean was heartbroken and nothing could fix him, no one could fix his damaged heart. All he wanted was his brother back, his dad, he wanted everyone back. Dean opened the bag of weapons looking for his silver gun. He grabbed and a loaded the gun with only one bullet, taking a paper and pen he started writing his goodbye to everyone hoping they will understand. He set the letter on the bed with tears in his eyes as flashbacks started to appear.

Sam sacrificed himself to save Dean and everyone else by dragging not only himself but Adam down into hell as well. Dean sat on the bed holding his silver gun as the painful memories flashed back into his mind, replaying that fateful day over and over. Sam pinned Dean up against the Impala and started beating him to a bloody pulp. His once innocent brother, who was now controlled by Lucifer, was no more and Dean knew this wasn't his Sammy talking. Face it Dean, your pathetic you always act like your the tough one when really your nothing but a worthless little shit. No wonder why dad hated you. Sam kept punching him and punching him until he was on the verge of passing out. Sammy, I know you're in there somewhere, please try to fight him. I know you can. Just as Sam was about to give one last hateful hit on Dean he froze, his eyes glued to something in the car. His little green solider he had gotten stuck while playing with it. Sam had finally gained control of himself and realized what was happening and unclenched his fist as he met eye to eye with a bloody Dean who looked horrified. I'm going to save us Dean I promise. Sam grabbed the three horsemen rings and threw them on the floor. Dean tried to flash the memories away and he screamed out his brother's name, hoping he could somehow hear him calling. The memories started rushing back, unable to fight them he let them come as tears fell from his red-hot face.

Sam grabbed Adam and dragged him down never to be seen again. Dean looking at the hole that was now nowhere to be seen just sat there and tears started forming in his eyes, suddenly Castiel walks up to a saddened Dean and slowly put his fingers on his forehead healing him. Dean raised to his feet and hugged Cas who was good as new despite Lucifer turning him into nothing but guts and blood. Cas walks over to a dead Bobby and places his finger as he did to Dean and Bobby wakes up, as if nothing ever happened. Cas, he… Dean paused to hold in his tears and to keep from breaking down and sobbing. He's gone Cas, he sacrificed himself to save not only us but the world. Cas and Bobby looked at Dean with comforting eyes as they all just stood there with nothing but silence. Dean finally came to and found himself back in the hotel, the gun still in his hands. He needed sometime to process everything before he could go back home to Lisa and Ben. But Dean kmew that they would be better off without him, without his horrible life. A memorie popped in his head, a promise he made his brother a few minutes prior to the events that went down on the same day Sam had died. Dean started to cry as he brought the gun up to his head and squeezed the trigger, remembering the promise he made. He didn't want to let his brother down but he couldn't hold on any longer. Dean sat there as everything came flooding back to him.

Dean? I want you to promise me something if things go sideways; Sam said as he looked at Dean with a sad look on his face. Damn it Sammy don't talk like that nothing will go wrong. Sam sat there just staring out the window before responding, Dean I'm serious please promise me; Dean interrupted him and started to raise his voice, Promise what Sammy? I'm not going to let anything happen to you, not while I'm around. Sam gave Dean a stern look and finished his sentence. Dean I want you to promise me if things go sideways that you will go live yourself a normal life and not try to look for a way to save me. Promise me Dean, Promise! Dean looked at his brother who had a look of sadness. So, what you want me to go on living and just forget about you? Like you never even existed? Sorry Sammy not going to happen. Dean came back to reality and sat there, tears brimming in his eyes as he held the gun. I'm sorry Sammy, I've let you down I've let everyone down. I'm better off dead anyway." He stood in the middle of the room tears streaming down his face as he kept the gun up to his head. Just then the door opened and he heard a womans voice saying his name. Dean?


	2. Prt 1: Demons Are Real

Goodbye Dean Winchester

Chapter 2: Prt 1 Demons Are Real

Lisa's POV:

Lisa got up that early morning getting ready for a quick run. She quietly walked up to Ben's room and checked on him, he was sound asleep she smiled and left the house. She hadn't seen Dean in over 2 weeks and usually he was only gone 1 to 2 days. He would normally call to let her know he was okay and he hadn't called within the two weeks he's been gone. This is not good somethings wrong. Her phone went off but she quickly dismissed as she could not answer it while running. She had been running for about an hour and stopped at a nearby corner store before heading back home. Upon arriving home, it was when she grabbed her phone and saw the words "goodbye this world is better off without me." Along with the message was a voice-mail. She panicked and tried to process what she just heard, grabbing his laptop she managed to trace his call from what he taught her. She grabbed her jacket and got in the car driving to her destination. Upon her arrival to a hotel in Kentucky she anxiously went door to door calling his name. She came across a room and the smell of weeks old food and alcohol made its way to her noise.

Dean? Honey are you- She walked into the room to find him standing holding the gun to his head. He looked at her and whispered goodbye. A look of horror crawled across her face as she ran to him just as he pulled the trigger. The sound echoing through the hall of the hotel lobby as concerned people came running in to see what was going on. Dean fell to the floor blood pouring out from his wound. Dean no, Lisa clinged to his now cold body and shook him, holding him close to her chest. Help somebody help me please! She grabbed the phone and franticly called 911. Lisa saw the note on the bed and began to read it. She was sobbing as she rocked back and forth holding him trying to keep his head from bleeding more than it already was. The ambulance arrived rushing in and placing Dean on a stretcher. As the hospital doors opened they rushed him into surgery as soon as possible trying to keep him conscious and moving. Lisa, Bobby and Ben all waited anxiously for the doctor to tell them the news of Deans current condition.

Lisa needed answers as to why, why Dean had done this and why he hadn't told her what was going on. Dean knows he can confide in Lisa if something was bothering him and yet he never did. She starts to break down and Bobby holds her, comforting her telling her it was going to be okay but deep down he wasn't very sure himself if things were going to be okay. What would Sam think he thought. Just then the doctor came to inform them of Dean's state. He is out of surgery, the bullet barely missed the brain by an inch but it had hit enough to cause him to bleed. The damage wasn't too severe he's lucky to be alive. He will be okay he just needs to rest we have him on suicide watch and may keep him here for maybe a week or so just to check up on his progress. Then he should be released but if you notice anything odd or he is talking about suicide you call us immediately. Lisa jumped up and hugged the doctor crying into his shoulder. Thank you doctor thank you so much for saving him. The doctor gave Lisa a half hearted smile and nodded.

The doctor lead them to Dean's room and left them to see him. Lisa was the first to walk in and when she saw him awake she broke down again and ran to his side. Dean oh my god your okay! I thought you were dead. Dean looked up at Lisa and his face gave off a look of sadness, guilt and shame. He buried his face into the pillow to avoid Lisa's eyes. Dean? Hey I'm not mad at you just a little upset as to why you never came to me for help if you were feeling this way. He slowly moved his gaze from the pillow to Lisa who's eyes had a look of wonder and worry. He tried to talk but no words came out. The only sound he made was the sound of quiet sobbing as he began to break down and starting apologizing. Lisa turned around as Bobby and Ben came walking into the room. Dean looked at all three and smiled before dozing off into a deep sleep.


End file.
